Thursday, April 30, 2009

You Negroes skewered the polls: Next time please don't answer the phone.



I have a news flash for republicans: The 14th Amendment pretty much did away with Dred Scott v. Sandford. For those of you not familiar with the Dred Scott case, it is one of the many dark spots (no pun intended) in A-murder-can jurisprudence. That case basically said that us black folks were not humans but mere chattel. Property. No more important than the cotton we picked out of the ground or the animals we worked alongside.

Anyway, apparently conservatives didn't get the 14th Amendment memo. If they did, one of their most respected writers, Byron York, wouldn't be making the type of declarations that he did while writing for the Washington Examiner.

"On his 100th day in office, Barack Obama enjoys high job approval ratings, no matter what poll you consult. But if a new survey by the New York Times is accurate, the president and some of his policies are significantly less popular with white Americans than with black Americans, and his sky-high ratings among African-Americans make some of his positions appear a bit more popular overall than they actually are. [emphasis added]"

See, it's all so simple when you break it down: Obama's 62% job approval rating is primarily because of his high approval rating among black folks. But among white folks, whose opinion really matters, Obama's is "significantly less popular". See niggers, it's like this, when you are just three-fifths of a man or woman, your opinion only has three- fifths of the weight. So Obama being popular among you niggers means nothing. Wow! Byron York doing his best Chief Justice Taney imitation.

I love how Steve Benen writing in the Washington Monthly breaks down York's article:

"For crying out loud, what the hell does that mean, exactly? I read the rest of the piece, hoping to see York explain why the president's seemingly popular positions are exaggerated or inflated. Why, in other words, these positions "appear" more popular "than they actually are." But all the piece tells me is that African Americans tend to support Obama in greater numbers than white Americans.

The problem, of course, is that damn phrase "than they actually are." York argues that we can see polls gauging public opinion, but if we want to really understand the popularity of the president's positions, and not be fooled by "appearances," then we have to exclude black people. "

Steven, that is exactly the point Mr.York wants to make; "we do have to exclude black people". Because, let's face it, when did they ever matter.

Read Byron York's article here, and please note some of the comments that follow.


Big hat tip to my girl, Lynne Adrine, for hipping me to this story.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

100 AND COUNTING.


It's been a giddy and euphoric 100 days indeed for most of you Negroes in A-murder-ca. Just knowing that the first family is black has been enough to have most of you (excuse the Jim Jones reference) popping champagne since January 20th. Most of you. Because there are still black folks in A-murder-ca who aren't impressed. Some of you are firmly under that small republican tent so you weren't going to be impressed no matter what. Some of you are just sceptical of the "One", and you think he is nothing but a fraud; a smooth talking brother who is still controlled by the "Man", and who won't be better for black folks, but worse.

Still, most of you probably feel like Paul Shepard who wrote the following:
"No doubt, some of us viewed the election of President Barack Obama as Christmas, New Year's and Juneteenth all rolled into one. And in light of all the hell black people have caught, and continue to catch in America, it's not without reason.


But 100 days into his administration, some black pundits and political observers are taking Obama to task for not pushing a more radical pro-black agenda. ...

'Why didn't Obama come out when that black man was killed by the white policeman in Oakland?'" one writer asks. 'Why isn't Obama talking about white racism?' asks another.
'Why isn't Obama pushing for more investment in urban America?' asks another blogger.

I'll add one 'why' to the list. Why are some of us so impatient and so simple?

This is not to say that Obama's first 100 days have been a total delight. The horrible vetting process of his Cabinet nominees has been an embarrassment that I still can't wrap my mind around. His nominations lead me to wonder if anyone in D.C. pays their taxes on time -- or at all.
And Obama has yet to offer a real answer I can swallow on how he's going to raise the revenue needed to pay for the stimulus package, cut taxes for all but the richest of us and avoid massive budget deficits down the road.

But as far as criticizing him for not being black enough during his first 100 days in office, come on now. Even if Obama were to run down Pennsylvania Avenue draped in kente cloth, these critics would not be satisfied.
Silly.

A couple points for Obama's critics on race. First is that Obama isn't a black leader. Obama is a leader who is black. There is a big difference. A true president doesn't have a constituency he can play to. He is supposed to be leader of us all."


The title of Mr. Shepard's article was "A Stealth Campaign For Black People." Now I wouldn't go that far, but I will say what I have continued to say since the day his O ness won this bad boy and forced me to have to run "au naturale" down Broad Street: If Ron Paul had won he would have been better than what we have had for the past eight years. The fact that his O ness is obviously a great communicator and so far seems to be a competent administrator gets him a pass from the field. Do I have some issues with him? Sure I do. But they pale in comparison to the amount of issues I had with a certain frat boy. Throw in the historical significance of it all and it's all good.
Just 1360 days to go. Obamaholics can you stand it?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Calling George Cloooney.



"When Christians kill Muslims, it's the Crusades. When Jews kill Muslims it's murder, and when Muslims kill Muslims, it's like talking about the weather. Nobody really cares about it." ~Dan Gillerman~~

Seeing one of my favorite field Negroes, John Lewis, get arrested yesterday for protesting the atrocities taking place in Darfur, got me thinking: When is the death of over 200,000.00 people and the displacement of over 2 millioin more going to matter to the rest of us?


Here in A-murder-ca it's wall to wall coverage of the stinking swine flu, and not one single A-murder-can has died so far. Not one! Yes we have lost about 200 or so of our brothers and sisters to the South, but you know what? I have lost thousands of brothers and sisters in Sudan and I don't see that shit on the news every day. Not unless George Clooney or some other "A" list celebrity starts feeling guilty about all the shit they have and decide to take a private jet and a camera to the middle of hell.

So sorry, I know I blogged about how potentially serious this swine flu thing could turn out to be, but that's just it; it's potentially serious. The shit going on in Sudan now is serious, and no one seems to give a damn. I wonder if those were Jews killing all those those poor black Africans in Darfur the silence would be this deafening? If the Janjaweed thugs were Zionist would there be outrage? If that scumbag, Omar al-Bashir, was propped up by Israel and not Russia, would there be mass protests in the streets?

"The war in Darfur has laid bare the racial animus that has always underlain the war in Sudan. The killing there is not about religion. It is about race and ethnicity. In Darfur, the government's drive to "Arabize" a country that is made up of myriad ethnic groups has found a full and willing partner in Arab nomads whose search for new water and grazing land for their herds has led them into conflict with the majority population of settled African farmers..."

~Julie Flint, Human Rights Watch~~

Nooooo, racist Arabs? Noooooo. (But field, the difference is those people in Khartoum belong there, it's their land. The Jews in Tel Aviv are colonialist, they are occupying land that is not theirs) Yeah, whatever. That is called pretzel logic, because it is seriously twisted. The fact is, Arabs from the North are trying to ethnically cleanse the poor Africans to the South, and the shit ain't pretty. We can dance around it all we want and pretend it's not happening, but it is.


Which is why I love the fact that my man John Lewis and those other protesters picketed the Sudanese embassy on Monday. I love the fact that they are still engaged and still trying to make us remember. Even if most of us would like to forget.




Monday, April 27, 2009

DON'T GO!


I should have known something was up when Mrs. Field asked me to go to the movies, Sunday.

I was totally played so that she could go and see, as she calls him, her "chocolate bunny", Idris Elba, get all jammed up with Missy. My man had some serious Michael Douglas moments, and I felt his pain.

Now for all of you brothers reading this (and I am sorry my white male friends, but I can only speak to the brothers, because sisters are my only frame of reference) this is a public service announcement from the field: Do not take your wife, girlfriend, or significant other to see Obsessed. Just don't. The shit is not worth it. (Do you remember what we all had to go thorough after "Fatal Attraction"? Same here, but worse for you brothers, because of the added element of, well, Missy. It's kind of like "Jungle Fever" meets "Fatal Attraction" if you get my drift. Cherry Hill's own Ali Larder* does her best Glenn Close imitation and girlfriend is kind of scary.) If your significant other insists on going like Mrs. Field because of her Elba jones or whatever, tell her to go with her girls.

Mrs. Field, of course, was mad throughout the entire flick. I tried to snuggle and make nice, only to be pushed away. I couldn't figure out if it was because of her "chocolate bunny" taking up the screen or if she was pissed with how the movie was going down. I got the impression it was the latter.

Anyway, here is a question for you brothers: and I want to ask it without giving away the movie for any of you who might be dumb enough to go and see it. The question is this: If something (anything) happened to you that involved another woman, but you didn't cheat on your significant other, and your significant other asks you an innocent question about what happened; what would you tell her? I know what I would tell her, but I want to see if I am in the majority or in the minority on this one. So please help a brotha out and tell me what you would say.

On our way home Mrs. Field was still in her Idris Elba trance. She was talking to herself as if she was the only one in the car: "Yeah that white girl needed to stay out of black folks business. But you know what? I can't blame girlfriend. No I can't. Girrrrrrl that bunny was too fine. All I need is just a little time with that brotha. "

Women!


*Thanks for the correction, Maryscott.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hold the pork chops, please.


I finally got my revenge against the lovely Mrs. Field. Being raised Seventh Day Adventist I was raised not to eat pork. And even after I strayed from my church I never ate the stuff. It was one of the tenets of my former religion that I always kept with me, and for good reason.

So now that the world is in a tizzy over this swine flu thing I can finally look at Mrs. Field and say I told you so. All the taunting about the delicious pork chops, all the funny faces while she bit into one juicy BBQ rib after another; and now, finally, her chickens....scratch that,her pigs are coming home to roost. "I guess you will be ditching the pork now huh dear?" I told her while reading my morning paper. "Not funny field, people are dying because of this stuff."

She was right, of course, it wasn't funny. People are dying from this "stuff", and the shit could be serious. Eighty six dead in Mexico and counting, and they are finding cases popping up from California to New York and Kansas in between. It's gotten so bad that we have declared a health emergency in these divided states, and we seem to be on the verge of a world wide pandemic.

Now I am no doctor, but I know that whenever you have a virus that can be passed on by mere human to human contact we could have a serious problem. I don't want to scare you folks or get too fatalistic, but the last major flu pandemic cost over 20 million (and possibly way more) people their lives. That is some seriously scary shit. Hopefully, we have come so far and become so advanced as humans, that we can contain this one and find a cure for this particular strain of the flu. Hopefully.

Oh well, I think one good thing can come out of this: Maybe we will start getting rid of all the pig food and start finding different things to do with them. (The pigs) I think they are too nasty to become pets, so maybe more pig skin belts and shoes? Just thinking out loud folks, no one is suggesting that you pork eaters give up your love of that particular delicacy. All I ask is that you hold out until this swine flu bug is cleared up. Think of it as your personal contribution to humanity. And while we are at it,-- at the risk of pissing off the Mexican tourist board-- we might want to chill on those Cancun vacations for awhile as well.



Now go get your flu shot.





Saturday, April 25, 2009

What's in a name?


I was thinking about blog names today. Names, that for some reason, stay in my head. I love lurking around other people's blogs (even the ones that I don't agree with) and reading all the fascinating things that they have to say.

Another thing that fascinates me about blogs is all the wild names that people come up with. I have to say that 90% of them are pretty damn good, because for the most part, bloggers can be some pretty creative people.

Anyway, here is a list of some of my favorite blog titles. (Not in any order of importance) Some of them might not still be around, and some of them are far apart from me ideologically, but the field is still feeling their handles.



















And on a final note, I want to say thanks to the folks over at Drexel University and the REACH project for sponsoring one hell of a conference today. There were kids there from schools like Swarthmore, Haverford College, Penn, Temple, and Bryn Mawr. Seeing all those smart young people of color holding it down in elite schools and ready to get their activism on was refreshing.


Understanding the true meaning of community activism is field Negro behavior.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Do you Negroes want to be free?


I got an e-mail from Ben Dimiero of Media Matters hipping me to the latest wingnut whining about black people over the airwaves. The latest, some clown named Mark Davis, (Rush's fill in for the day) had a question for his conservative friends:


".. The caller then said that he'd never met one of these America-hating, flag burning liberals Davis and his colleagues keep talking about, and that he's actually seeing a lot of 'Obama Derangement Syndrome' out there, much like there was "Bush Derangement Syndrome" for the last eight years. Davis said the difference between ODS and BDS was not in the "vociferousness," but the "content."

Another break and Davis was back, explaining that 'there were people of all sizes, shapes, stripes, economic levels, and yes, races' at the tea party he hosted in Dallas. Davis added: 'I mean, did they tend to be pretty white? Yeah. Hang on, maybe talk shows of the future will deal not with the question of, you know, 'What is it we're doing that repels black people?' but 'Why aren't black people more attracted by liberty?' "

'Why aren't black people more attracted by liberty?' Seriously?"

Alright Mark, so you want to know why black people, in your mind, aren't "attracted to liberty?"
Let me see if I can answer your question in a tempered, coherent, and mellifluous way for you: (IwillnotcurseIwillnotcurseIwillnotcurseIwillnotcurseIwillnotcurseIwillnotcurseIwillnotcurse)

Actually Mark, black people are attracted to liberty. How could we not be? I mean it took us so long to get it from the likes of you, that I am pretty sure that we appreciate liberty even more than you and your tea bagging friends. It's just that we don't trust you and your ilk to insure that we keep whatever liberties we have. And we sure as hell don't trust or condone the tactics that you and your ilk have used in the past in your pursuit of liberty. But our men have died on battle fields and spilled their blood for you to enjoy your liberties. And many of those "black people" who you seem to have such disdain for have been lynched, beaten, and assassinated, so that you can enjoy your liberty in a country that you are not ashamed of.

But I think I get what you are saying Mark: black people support Obama in large numbers, and in your mind, Obama doesn't support liberty, therefore black people aren't "attracted to liberty." Now Mark, after considering your question, and your twisted logic for even posing it; I have a question for you: Why aren't far right conservatives attracted to education?


Read the entire Media Matters report here.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sometimes a picture isn't worth a thousand words.

*
I swear I must be getting soft in my old age. Or maybe racism is getting too fast for me to try and chase.

A friend of mine sent me the pic you are looking *at and he wanted to know if I saw the racism in it. "Field, this is some bullshit! Somebody has to put these designers in check, they think it's cool and chic to play on people's racial anxieties." Now, I love my people, I really do, and I know that the person who sent me the pic is reading this. But I have to be honest, my first impression of the pic was I see a pretty sister (although she could use some food) holding a little white baby. Period. I didn't see the racial stereotype of the domestic helper mammy/Aunt Jamima type being played out, and I didn't see the black woman embracing the white child and abandoning her own. (These are some of the messages that my frantic friend was getting from the pic.)

Nope, I didn't see any of that. Maybe living in the age of O has caused my racial radar to lose some of its power. Or maybe I am giving Michael Kors a pass because I like his shirts. Whatever it is, it's causing me to say no on this one.

Sorry, get back to me when you see a cover like this and then we can talk.


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What's worse, a house Negro or a crazy Negro?


"Paul Joseph WatsonPrison Planet.comTuesday, April 21, 2009

Former presidential candidate Alan Keyes has given perhaps his most dire warning yet, saying that the Obama administration is preparing to stage terror attacks, declare martial law and cancel the 2012 elections, which is why they are demonizing their political enemies as criminals and terrorists.


Keyes is best known for his performance during the 2000 Republican presidential debates, when he was accredited by many media outlets as being the clear winner during a series of debates with George W. Bush and John McCain.

“It’s obvious that they will stop at nothing,” Keyes told attendees of a reception in Fort Wayne, adding, “We may wake up one day and there’s a series of terrorist attacks, the economy is paralysed….martial law will be declared everywhere in the United States and it won’t end until the crisis ends.”

Keyes said that Americans should be thankful if they even see another election in 2012, stating, “If we don’t wake up and work to see that it happens, we will not see another election.” “The minute they think they can get away with it, they will end this system of government and that is their intention,” added Keyes, noting that everyone acting as if the time we are in was just “business as usual” reminds him of the attitude of politicians in the Weimar Republic when Hitler was rising to power or eastern Europe when the Communists were taking over after the second world war."

The rest of the article here.

I know I know, why is the field even blogging about this wack job?I can hear you all saying it now: Come on field, why are you wasting your time? It's Alan Keyes for crying out loud!

Yes but read the article again. Do you see what Keyes is known for? Winning a debate with George Bush and John McCain. What does that tell you about the condition of the republican party? Keyes might be right; if this republican party is what is masquerading as an opposition these days, we very well could have a one party government on the horizon.

But don't blame the O man, Alan. Blame the out of touch and clueless party that you belong to. And while you are at it, you might want to blame your doctor for misdiagnosing your mental condition and obviously forgetting to put you on some very strong medication. And who the hell is the "they" that you keep talking about? You do realize, don't you, that his O ness has about a **94% approval rating among black folks, and an overall approval rating of about 62%? So this "they" that you are talking about represents the majority of people in these divided states.
Honestly folks, there are house Negroes, there are field Negroes, and there are crazy Negroes. Alan Keyes, the fifth child of Alison and Gerthina Keyes, is one crazy ass Negro.

**BTW, check out the above link. It is a great article about the schism between the academic left and the grass roots progressives in O nation.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Why are you black farmers whining? Didn't you pick cotton for free back in the day?


You Obamaholics might want to skip this next post. I will give you a little time to click away before I start........

Okay, for those of you who are still reading, Quick, raise your hands if you have ever heard of the Pigford Case. If you haven't let me help you out a little bit: It was a class action lawsuit filed by a bunch of black farmers because the federal government denied them loans and assistance that went to whites. (Gee, there is a surprise) Anyway, they filed a class action lawsuit, and there must have been some fire to go with the smoke because Uncle Sam settled for damn near a billion dollars with my overall clad brothers.

Happy ending right? Wrong. As is always the case with our slick Uncle, the deadline period to file was so short that thousands of farmers with legitimate claims missed out on the filing deadline and got zilch. So in comes Johnny Boyd and other farmer activist; they started pressing the government to open back up the case and give some of the farmers who missed out on the filing deadline to refile their claims.

Well guess who stepped up to the plate to help them? Yep, you guessed it; his O ness.

Let me give you a little passage from the AP story:
"...The cause gained momentum in August 2007 when Obama, then an Illinois senator, introduced Pigford legislation about six months into his presidential campaign.
Although the case was hardly a hot-button political issue, it had drawn intense interest among African-Americans in the rural South. It was seen as a way for Obama to reach out in those areas, where he was not well-known and where he would need strong support to win the Democratic primary.

The proposal won passage in May as sponsors rounded up enough support to incorporate it into the 2008 farm bill. The potential budget implications were huge: It could easily cost $2 billion or $3 billion given an estimated 65,000 pending claims.

With pressure to hold down costs, lawmakers set an artificially low $100 million budget. They called it a first step and said more money could be approved later.
But with 25,000 new claims and counting, the Obama administration is now arguing that the $100 million budget should be considered a cap to be split among the successful cases.
The position — spelled out in a legal motion filed in February and reiterated in recent settlement talks — would leave payments as low as $2,000 or $3,000 per farmer. Boyd called that 'insulting.'

Boyd noted that Obama's legislation specifically called for the new claimants to be eligible for the same awards as the initial lawsuit, including expedited payments of $50,000 plus $12,500 in tax breaks that the vast majority of the earlier farmers received.
'I'm really disappointed,' Boyd said. 'This is the president's bill.'
'They did discriminate against these farmers, maybe not all of them, but a lot of these people would prevail if they could go to court,' he said.

The administration wouldn't discuss specific budget plans or commit to fully funding the claims. But in a statement to The Associated Press, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said the department agrees that more needs to be done and is working with the Justice Department to 'ensure that people are treated fairly'"

Now I know that his O ness is the President, and he has a lot on his plate, BUT HE SPONSORED THIS BILL! So now that he is the President would it kill his administration to give these farmers a fair settlement? You better be careful O man, these farmers literally have the pitchforks.

"You can't blame it on the Bush administration anymore," said John Boyd, head of the National Black Farmers Association, which has organized the lawsuits. 'I can't figure out for the life of me why the president wouldn't want to implement a bill that he fought for as a U.S.
Senator'"

Well I would tell you why John, but I want my Obamaholic friends to come back.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The O man takes a pass.


I was going to leave this one alone, but I can't. I have too much to say about it, and it is too important a subject to let it just hang out there.

I am talking about the racism conference which opened in Geneva, Switzerland today.

Now first, let me say that the fact that the world has to even have a racism conference, tells you just how messed up the human species is, and what a pathetic state of affairs the planet that we share is in. People are mad at the U.N. for finding it necessary to call all the countries of the world to sit down and talk about our differences, but I am not. In fact, I applaud them for their effort to draft a resolution and a formal declaration which all countries can sign on to.

Now they had to know that this wasn't going to be easy, and that certain cultures have such a deep hatred for other cultures that it was bound to be almost an exercise in futility. Take for instance the fact that the Israelis believe that there is implied criticism of Israel in the U.N. declaration, and that Muslim governments are trying to ban all criticism of Islam, sharia law, and the prophet Muhammad. All these non-starters; so right off the bat we have a big ass road block before we can even hold hands and start singing kumbaya.

Not surprisingly, a literal circus --complete with a protester dressed as a clown---broke out today when Iran's certifiable loon of a President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, spoke of the arrogance of the West. Arrogance, which in his opinion, is "the root cause of the problems of the world." And then, as if to prove his point, a bunch of Western diplomats got up and walked out. Nice. That's a great way to sit down and talk about the world's problems when it comes to race, just get up and walk out.

Which brings me to his O ness. When he announced Saturday that the divided states of America would not be participating in this conference I was greatly disappointed; but sadly, not surprised. I ripped the frat boy when his administration pulled a no show the first time, so I have to rip "the One", now. It's called a conference, if you have issues with the proposals for the final declaration tell your diplomats to take their asses to Geneva and state your objection. Try to lobby some of the other no show countries, and the other Western countries who did show up, and try to get whatever language you don't like removed. Isn't that what this kind of shit is all about?

If this is about a segment at the conference downplaying the Holocaust, show up and up-play (is that a word? Well I just made it one ) it. O man you should have been on on the phone with the German Chancellor telling her that the U.S. plans to attend and Germany should too. Germany has been a major player in anti racism efforts in Europe, and when they pulled out that created an instant problem. Still, they have not ruled out attending, so it wouldn't have been hard to turn on that O man charm and get Fraulein Merkel to pull a switcharoo. I gurantee you that she wouldn't have said nein.

Everyone who reads this blog knows that I am a supporter of Israel, I make no bones about that. And I have taken quite a lot of heat from my more pro Arab friends for that position. But I have to get on the Israelis a little bit on this one. You shouldn't have been lobbying other Western countries not to participate in this conference, instead you should have been encouraging everyone to attend and show the rest of the world just how ridiculous the claims are that there was no Holocaust. You should have been there proclaiming that both sides in the Arab Israeli conflict has some reaching out to do. You should have brought some of those pictures from Auschwitz and held them up when that crack pot Ahmadinejad started speaking. It would not have turn into an anti-Semitic gathering as you feared, and if it did, the cameras would have been rolling, and guess who that would have helped. And if your objection to any U.N. conference on race is about this, well then you could address that as well.
I don't know O man, I am looking at some of the countries that chose not to attend: Germany,New Zealand, Canada, Italy, The Netherlands, and they all have something in common (I will give you a hint, it ain't that they all have good soccer teams). This was not the change that I wanted to believe in. The change that I wanted to believe in would have confronted issues no matter how difficult. Even an issue as difficult as racism. The change that I wanted to believe in would have taken on the uncomfortable subject of racism in the world, no matter what the political cost at home. Instead of boycotting we should have been engaging. That would have been change that I can believe in.

"I would love to be involved in a useful conference that addressed continuing issues of racism and discrimination around the globe," But he said the language of the U.N.'s draft declaration risked a reprise of Durban, during which "folks expressed antagonism toward Israel in ways that were often times completely hypocritical and counterproductive."
"We expressed in the run-up to this conference our concerns that if you adopted all of the language from 2001, that's not something we can sign up for," "Hopefully some concrete steps come out of the conference that we can partner with other countries on to actually reduce discrimination around the globe, but this wasn't an opportunity to do it,"

Wouldn't it have been nice if we could have been there to push for those "concrete steps" O man? I mean I know you are not Catholic, (BTW, are you still going to Notre Dame?) but even the Pope seemed to be saying that we should be there.

"I am shocked and deeply disappointed by the United States decision not to attend" So says Navi Pillay, the chief human-rights host for the conference.

Don't be shocked Navi, it's called politics.






Sunday, April 19, 2009

Field Negro 101 Redux.


I was around some "bougie" black folks today, (a bunch of lawyers, a dentist, some guy who made a killing when the real estate market was hot and now he owns a bunch of strip malls, and a few other characters who thought they were more important than they really were) the usual mix of intellect and money. One of the people there who knew that I blogged asked me how my blog was going, and I told him it was cool. Then, of course, I got this: "Oh you have a blog, what do you call it?" "The field Negro"....(and here it comes) "Oh?" Why do you call it that? " Now since I was in the middle of watching my Fly guys push Sir Sidney and the Pens around, I really didn't want to be bothered with fam and participate in a long discussion about black folks in A-murder-ca. So I asked him if he had a computer at home. He said yes and I told him to google field Negro when he got home. He said he would, and I told him that just for him, I was going to leave an older post which explained why I use the field Negro handle. We exchanged some more pleasantries and he left me to the rest of the hockey game while he went to the other room to watch the Lakers with most of the other folks.

So anyway, in order to keep my promise to my man, here is my field Negro 101 post from almost three years ago:

I am always amused at how sensitive some blacks-particularly black conservatives-get when you talk about the house Negro field Negro dichotomy among black folks. Black conservatives are always quick to lash out at the house Negro moniker as if it's directed at them. They see it as a straw man and red herring, set up to distract from the real issues confronting black America. Well it's not. The moniker is one that was created by Malcolm X in one of his more famous speeches to make a point about certain blacks not giving their all to the movement because of their so called stake in America.

That speech ,is so inspiring, and so on point, that it is from where I find the inspiration- not to mention the name- for this blog. I use it, because I think it's still relevant for today's discourse in matters of race, as well as the black political movement in this country.When I post on other blogs, I always use the handle field-Negro, and the vitriolic responses I get for my handle alone -from whites and blacks- is at times frightening. "Why must you use that handle, it's so degrading to blacks?" "Shame on you for such a despicable handle", "you embarrass yourself and all self respecting black people by using such a handle". And so it goes, and this is just from the black folks. You can imagine what I get from white bloggers on the web; or, for that matter, the fringes of the web. [You might have noticed the vermin and rats crawling out of various trailer parks to post on this blog]But once again, I would like to set the record straight about this house Negro field Negro metaphor-and yes it's just a metaphor-and where I stand on this issue. Think of this post as field Negro 101 for your self improvement. First, being a house Negro has nothing to do with how you look, how much money you have, where you live, or where you work. The same can be said about being a field-Negro. It's not about how radical you think you are or how militant or African you may appear in your features. It's why I explain my background in detail to all who come to my blog. It's important to understand, that in spite of my upbringing and background, I am firmly entrenched in the fields. It's not about my credentials, or how I grew up, or even what privileges were afforded me. No, it's about my state of mind at this point in time, and how I choose to engage in the struggle to uplift black people and the less fortunate in modern day America.


For instance, I consider wealthy people such as Bill Cosby and Denzel Washington, field Negroes. But, on the other hand, I consider some not so wealthy people, such as Jessie Lee Peterson, and La Shawn Barber, house Negroes. I consider certain sports icons such as Jim Brown, Magic Johnson and Muhammad Ali, field Negroes, but I consider icons such as Michael Jordon, O.J. Simpson and George Foreman, house Negroes. Oprah Winfrey, in my book, is a house Negro, while her good friend, Maya Angelo, belongs in the fields. Jessie Jackson-yes Jessie Jackson-is a house Negro, but John Lewis, the congressman from Georgia, is a field Negro. In terms of appearance, the very dark Clarence Thomas should have his picture in the dictionary beside house Negro, while the fairer skinned Thurgood Marhsall was a big time field Negro. So it's certainly not about how you look. It's all about who I think is contributing to the cause of advancing black issues in the right way. Period.

Now let's look at this phenomenon literally for a moment: I have no problem with someone living in the house, and wanting the things the house offers for his or her family. The better schools, the safer neighborhoods, and a better quality of life. Only a fool would think otherwise. I don't even have a problem with the house Negro running to put out the fire if massa's house catches on fire, or if he tries to save massa's life. After all, if massa and his house are gone, where is the house Negro going to live, and who is going to hire him to work? On the other hand, I do have a problem if the house Negro tries to save massa before his own. That type of house Negro is a problem, and he is the one I speak so disparagingly of when I make fun of the house Negro. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of house Negroes like the latter around today. They are the ones who write the books for massa's ears only, kicking black folks harder than massa would ever kick us by telling us how bad we are. They are the ones -insert Thomas Sowell here- who write about America and her problems as if the white man is blameless, and as if us black folks are responsible for all of America's problems; and as if we brought whatever problems we have on ourselves. They are the ones-insert Clarence Thomas here- who we all know just wish that they not only worked in the house for massa, but wish that they were a part of massa's family as well. That is the dangerous house Negro, the self hater, who will do anything to be more white than the very white person himself, because just working and living in the house is not enough for him. This house Negro wants a stake in massa's house, and he will sell the rest of us out to get it.
I will give you an example: I have a black colleague who does very well for himself and his family. He recently purchased a home in a very affluent predominantly white neighborhood, and has from time to time bragged of being the only black in his development. Now this individual is a classic house Negro. And living in his all white subdivision didn't make him one, but being proud that he is the only black in said subdivision does. Like the "house nigger" in Malcolm X' s speech, he was proud to be the only Negro living among the whites. This is the inclination and fixed way of thinking of an individual who has fled from his people and would not mind if he never sees a black neighborhood or anything associated with black people again. This Negro didn't flee to white suburbia for better schools, safer neighborhoods, and cost effectiveness. No, this Negro fled to white suburbia because he wanted to be around massa and his house.

This type of house Negro is the one I refer to when I make my lists, and speak of when I try to point out the Negroes that are holding us back by projecting to white folks-insert Oprah here- a false image of what black folks are going through. The field Negro, given the same circumstances, would find himself going back to the old neighborhood, volunteering his time, and helping when and where he can. He would not care about how many other Negroes lived in his development, as long as his family was receiving the benefits I outlined above. So for all of you who see the handle, and wonder why a field Negro. Think about that for a minute. Think about what makes a field Negro: Hard worker; cares about his family; cares about his race; cares about humanity; and always with the masses so he knows what it will take to improve our plight. He understands -because he works so hard in the fields- that it will take more than just talk but action to make things happen. And finally, that the house is not his, and ultimately, he will have to build his own. That, my friends, is the essence of the field-Negro, and that is what every Negro should strive to become.



***Note, since this post I have changed my opinion about Oprah. I think girlfriend is on the patio now and has at least one leg in the fields.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

They will take their tea with lots of milk.


So now that the tea party protests are behind us, conservatives are scrambling to try and figure out how to make it a springboard for a viable grass roots movement. You know, kind of like their arch enemy , "The One", used to propel himself to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Now let's be clear; in my humble opinion the tea party numbers were not impressive, a few thousand here, a few thousand there does not a "Million Man March" make. If you want to see numbers watch the crowd at one of "The One's" speeches leading up to the elections. Or the sea of humanity that greeted him in Europe. Now those numbers were impressive. The conservatives, of course, think otherwise, and they are calling on those who participated to keep fighting the good fight. (Oh they are getting ready to fight the good fight alright, unfortunately they believe that shit in the literal sense).

When you get a chance please look at the pictures of these tea protesters again. And if you can, please do me another solid: If you see a picture or video of one person of color at one of those rallies please send me a link. I am sure there must be one person. So if you spot one, it will be like a sighting of the rare atala butterfly, consider it a hell of a find and enjoy the moment.

Now I know that a grass roots movement doesn't have to be multicultural, but it would lend some legitimacy to it. Say what you want about his O ness, but he had all different types of people on board with his movement. There was black;white; brown; rich; poor; man; woman and all those in between. That was a real movement, and every group in A-murder-ca was caught up in it. It wasn't just for a certain shade of folks. Hell these tea parties looked more like vanilla milk shake parties to me. Sorry, no real movement for change in A-murder-ca can be effective if it's that homogeneous. That would only be possible in places like Japan or North Korea. Say what you want about us A-murder-cans we like to think of ourselves as inclusive, and we like to believe that we embrace diversity. Seeing that very pale protest reminded us of places that we don't want to revisit. It was kind of like watching television circa 1955, if you get my drift.

And for the record; I know that there are some folks working on getting us to the Japanese model right now, but thankfully, we are not at that place just yet. Sorry, I think us other folks are going to be around for awhile.


THIS JUST IN: THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SAYS THAT ABORTION IS OKAY FOR CERTAIN GROUPS OF PEOPLE.


I kid I kid.

Friday, April 17, 2009

They just won't quit.

I blogged about this before, but I have to go there again: They just won't leave my girl alone, and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it does. So I am going to have to expose this popular wingnut website and show you exactly how they are degrading my First Lady over there. ( I thought they had websites dedicated to getting Michelle's back?)



So anywhooo, I will give it to you exactly how it looks over there. First, let me give you the set up: They post a picture every Friday and leave it to their regular posters to leave clever comments with their own caption for the picture. They actually run a contest and the best caption wins. Get it?



Okay here goes:



"Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest



Posted by KevinPublished: April 17, 2009 - 7:00 AM
It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:"



And here are some of the clever comments for captions that followed:

"That's it honey, just like Axelrod's leash on me.
1. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:47 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:47 It's going to be important ... (Below threshold)
2. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 7:49 AM Score: 12 (14 votes cast)
IowaRight:
It's going to be important to keep that bitch on a leash....
2. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 7:49 AM Score: 12 (14 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:49 "That reminds me, we need t... (Below threshold)
3. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:49 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
"That reminds me, we need to take over pet stores next"
3. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:49 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:49 -Bravo Iowa-... (Below threshold)
4. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:50 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
-Bravo Iowa-
4. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:50 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:50 Look Barack, the dog takes ... (Below threshold)
5. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 7:52 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
IowaRight:
Look Barack, the dog takes the same size collar that you do...
5. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 7:52 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:52 "Barack you should be doing... (Below threshold)
6. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:54 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
"Barack you should be doing this...I need to write your speech for tomorrow"
6. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:54 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:54 "I miss Uncle Ted, he alway... (Below threshold)
7. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:58 AM Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
"I miss Uncle Ted, he always filled my waterbowl with top shelf stuff."
7. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 7:58 AM Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 07:58 BO knows Obama and can't wa... (Below threshold)
8. Posted by CDR M April 17, 2009 8:03 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
CDR M:
BO knows Obama and can't wait to leave the White House.
8. Posted by CDR M April 17, 2009 8:03 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:03 "Mr. President..PETA's on l... (Below threshold)
9. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 8:05 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
"Mr. President..PETA's on line three..."
9. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 8:05 AM Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:05 "Awww come on honey, we can... (Below threshold)
10. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 8:07 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:
"Awww come on honey, we can sneak him in...I'm the President."
10. Posted by Pretzel Logic April 17, 2009 8:07 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:07 After weeks and weeks of of... (Below threshold)
11. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:10 AM Score: 20 (22 votes cast)
IowaRight:
After weeks and weeks of of embarassing miscues in domestic and foreign affairs, the Obama White House team brings in a Clue-Sniffing Dog...
11. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:10 AM Score: 20 (22 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:10 Trained to search for telep... (Below threshold)
12. Posted by John April 17, 2009 8:11 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
John:
Trained to search for teleprompters, Bo is out again on the job.
12. Posted by John April 17, 2009 8:11 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:11 For the first time in my pu... (Below threshold)
13. Posted by guido April 17, 2009 8:11 AM Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
guido:
For the first time in my puppy life, I'm proud to be a Portuguese Water Dog.
13. Posted by guido April 17, 2009 8:11 AM Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:11 Up until now, the brown spo... (Below threshold)
14. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:13 AM Score: 15 (15 votes cast)
IowaRight:
Up until now, the brown spots on the lawn were attributable to Biden...
14. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:13 AM Score: 15 (15 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:13 Nothing says butt-kickin' n... (Below threshold)
15. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:28 AM Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
IowaRight:
Nothing says butt-kickin' name-takin, leader of the free of gol-dang world quite like a Portuguese Water Dog.
15. Posted by IowaRight April 17, 2009 8:28 AM Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:28 Yes, I read the memo, "Keep... (Below threshold)
16. Posted by lisapope April 17, 2009 8:43 AM Score: 12 (12 votes cast)
lisapope:
Yes, I read the memo, "Keep BO on a short leash."... Mr. Soros wasn't talking about the dog?
16. Posted by lisapope April 17, 2009 8:43 AM Score: 12 (12 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:43 Unless you're the lead dog,... (Below threshold)
17. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:43 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:
Unless you're the lead dog, the view doesn't change much.
17. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:43 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:43 Don't mind us, we're just t... (Below threshold)
18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy April 17, 2009 8:45 AM Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:
Don't mind us, we're just taking our media out for a walk.
18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy April 17, 2009 8:45 AM Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:45 Michelle insists that Barac... (Below threshold)
19. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:45 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
fustian:
Michelle insists that Barack can only walk 20 paces behind her.
19. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:45 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:45 Michelle might consider swa... (Below threshold)
20. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:47 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
fustian:
Michelle might consider swapping hair stylists with the dog.
20. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:47 AM Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:47 Eww, surely you don't expec... (Below threshold)
21. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy April 17, 2009 8:48 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:
Eww, surely you don't expect US to pick up the mess.
21. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy April 17, 2009 8:48 AM Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2009 08:48 I see Barack is walking bot... (Below threshold)
22. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:50 AM Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
fustian:
I see Barack is walking both his dogs...
22. Posted by fustian April 17, 2009 8:50 AM Score: 1 (3 votes cast) "


More here. (They have actually gotten 92 comments so far.)

Aren't they funny? Those conservatives have missed their true calling. They should have all been comedy writers. Of course it might be too late now, they just missed out on eight years of really great material to work on their skills.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dixieland.


"To you, Sons of Confederate Veterans, we will commit the vindication of the cause for which we fought. To your strength will be given the defense of the Confederate soldier's good name, the guardianship of his history, the emulation of his virtues, the perpetuation of those principles which he loved and which you love also, and those ideals which made him glorious and which you also cherish. Remember, it is your duty to see that the true history of the South is presented to future generations." ~Stephen Dill Lee~~


I hear ya Mr. Lee, and in keeping with your dreams and wishes the descendants of the great confederacy have designated the month of April to be Confederacy month. That's right. Why should the Negroes be the only ones to have a month to celebrate their history? What about Southern history and pride? What about men like Lee; Davis; Jackson; and Forrest?

"All that the South has ever desired was the Union as established by our forefathers should be preserved and that the government as originally organized should be administered in purity and truth."

Those are the words of the great Robert E. Lee my Yankee friends. There is nothing racist about those words; in fact, they seem downright American to me. In fact if we put Robert E. Lee in a time machine and brought him back to 2009 I bet he would fit right into the new conservative movement sweeping the country. Hell, he could become governor of Texas. (BTW Gov. "good hair", [I love that name] I was joking when I blogged about your state wanting to secede from the rest of the Union, but apparently your dumb ass was serious)

Look, you good Confederate folks deserve a month. Especially after what Lincoln and his troops did to you. He invaded your homeland and had his Union troops fight you until your bitter surrender in 1865. Oh I bet if you could just go back to the years between 1861 and 1865 again and bring back the Confederate States of America life would be good. I bet you wouldn't have some skinny black man with a Muslim name from the South side of Chi as your President.

And I am not even mad that you have two more days in your month than mine. Or, that your month comes as spring flowers start to bloom and mine is in the dead of winter. Nope, I am not mad at ya, you fought for that month, the least the good folks of A-murder-ca could do is recognize you.

"Georgia's Governor, Sonny Perdue, and Mississippi's Governor, Haley Barbour, have both signed a proclamation designating April as Confederate History and Heritage Month for 2009, and city mayors and county commissioners will follow. The Georgia Senate also recently passed SB Bill 27, officially proclaiming April as Confederate History Month and the Georgia House rules committee voted 5-0, sending it out of committee for a full House vote. Supporters of the bill say, 'The measure would be a boom to the state's tourism industry, encouraging visitors to come to Georgia's Civil War battlefield sites."'


Well there you go.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Why isn't anyone out protesting for him?


I was going to blog about the teabaggers (Or whatever the hell they call themselves. Pay your fucking taxes like the rest of us and shut your mouths), but someone sent me a story (Hat tip"Horrible Leftist") that pissed me off so much that I can't help but blog about it.

Folks who know me know that there are three groups of people who I believe should never be fucked with in a civilized society: Those are children, the elderly, and the disabled. If we want to be proud of the country we call home we should always make sure that the weakest and most helpless among us are protected.

Which is why when I heard about what happened to 11 year old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover I was fit to be tied:

"Sirdeaner Walker, who has survived domestic violence, homelessness, and breast cancer, knew death could come suddenly -- but she could not have predicted it would find her 11-year-old son first.

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover was a sixth-grader at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, Mass. There, many of his classmates were initially strangers, as few of his friends from Alfred Glickman Elementary followed him.

On April 6, Sirdeaner Walker came home, walked up the stairs to the second floor of her home, and saw her son suspended from a support beam in the stairwell, swaying slightly in the air, an extension cord wrapped around his neck, according to police. He apologized in a suicide note, told his mother that he loved her, and left his video games to his brother.

Walker said her son had been the victim of bullying since the beginning of the school year, and that she had been calling the school since September, complaining that her son was mercilessly teased. He played football, baseball, and was a boy scout, but a group of classmates called him gay and teased him about the way he dressed. They ridiculed him for going to church with his mother and for volunteering locally.

"It's not just a gay issue," Walker said. "It’s bigger. He was 11 years old, and he wasn't aware of his sexuality. These homophobic people attach derogatory terms to a child who’s 11 years old, who goes to church, school, and the library, and he becomes confused. He thinks, Maybe I'm like this. Maybe I'm not. What do I do?"

His birthday, April 17, falls this year on the 13th National Day of Silence, a day on which individuals observe vows of silence for students bullied at school. But instead of silence, Walker wants action from the school, which she said continuously ignored her, chalking the situation up to student immaturity. She said that every day her son left for school, he walked into a "combat zone" assigned to him because of his inner-city address. But he would not point a finger at specific classmates for fear he'd be called a "snitch."'


And black folks, can we talk? This severe homophobia that most of you are guilty of and pass down to your children has got to stop. The shit is seriously fucked up, and it is ignorant. But field how do you know the the kids taunting the little boy was black? I don't, but it doesn't take away from my point. I am not even as mad at the children in this story as I am at the adults in this school who were charged with protecting this little boy. The boy's mother said that she complained to the school that the boy was *"mercilessly"[*thanks for the correction "Actsoffaith"] teased", and yet they did nothing. So now, sadly, a child, who by all accounts was going to do something with his life, is dead.

Which caused this poster from the original article to write the following:

"Shame on the politicians , if they are homophobics with the army ( don't tell don't ask ) with the marriage ( gay marriage forbiden ) how can kids won't be homophobics ? A politician ( president , governor , senator ...) must be an example against HOMOPHOBIA ! Poor carl josef , for you , we have to fight against homophobia everywhere in the world ."


Sorry poster from Nice, France. We can't fight against homophobia just yet; we are too busy fighting against paying our taxes.




Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Don't mess with Mexas.



"I'm here today to offer my unwavering support to...millions of Texans just like yourself that are tired of Washington, D.C. trying to come down here and tell us how to run Texas."



That was Rick Perry, the republican governor of the soon to be country of Texas, declaring to his citizens that they want to be free from the tyranny of Washington.(Funny, I didn't see any of my cousins in that You Tube clip.) Yes folks, in the great state of Texas, they have decided to pass a resolution affirming their sovereignty under the 10th Amendment of the Constitution. Sounds like the folks in "hook em horns" country are trying to tell us something. (That there is secession talk, folks.)



Where do I start with this? Okay let me start by saying to my friends in Texas: we will miss you. Not all of you, but the ones who found themselves, for whatever reason, stuck in that land that time forgot. My only hope is that you can get out before the secession is complete.



Personally, I hope the good governor takes the stinking Cowboys and every backwards ass town from Amarillo to Brownsville and El Paso to Orange and declare the entire joint their own country. Then let's pull all of our federal services out of the new country of Texas which our taxes pay for and see how they make out. No more post offices; no more food stamps; no more farm subsidies; no more Medicare or medicaid; no more fancy roads to drive from one god forsaken town to another; no more funding for their child support offices or social security benefits for their seniors or disabled; no more money for research for their universities; --hell no more money, period-- and sure as hell no more electricity, because we will be cutting their asses off of the national grid. I mean give me a fucking break! I know they want to take our federal stimulus money without oversight, but that ain't gonna happen. Sorry, we don't trust you to spend it right. The scary thing is that Texas isn't alone, seems there are a dozen or so more states led by republican crackpots considering the same thing. See folks, this is what happens when Radio Rwanda AKA FOX NOISE gets to run amok.

I bet the folks who fought at the Alamo didn't sign up for this shit. If they only knew then what we know now Texas would probably be the most northern state of Mexico. Its not too late of course, I am sure the Mexicans would love to take them back. Now there might be a slight language problem, but the Canadians have handled that type of thing just fine. Just think, the hottest teams in Texas will go from being the Dallas Cowboys and San Antonio Spurs, to the Houston Dynamo and the F.C. Dallas soccer teams, over night. The downside, of course, would be that my Iggles wouldn't get to beat down the stinking cowboys every year like we do now. But Jerry Jones could always move the team to Oklahoma.